She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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