Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
