so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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