Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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