DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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