I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
