READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
