I must be too annoying 4 u.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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