So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
