She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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