but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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