I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
