i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
