I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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