There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
