Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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