i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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