I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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