lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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