the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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