Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize