he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
