Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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