Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
