So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize