office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
