how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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