I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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