Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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