My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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