hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
