you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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