it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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