My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and i looked up. we had an audience...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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