But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
this hospital has no fireball
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
