my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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