don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
handjob tips. give me some.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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