The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
