Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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