im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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