Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
