M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
