I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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