i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
