Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
