So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
