so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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