I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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