UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
