I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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