i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
