i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
