so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
