He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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