And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
