Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize