Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
