i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
