never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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