dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
