Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want nice things and good sex
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
