and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
